An enthusiast on her first job

Its been a while since I last blogged. Probably coz I enjoyed my private journals and that mostly I felt only I could relate to them. That is, I felt. There are many reasons for blogging that I don't want to associate myself with, usually because its true. But now I just want to go back and share what's up with my life.

It is a new season. I just graduated and I started working last June 1. A newbie, i fit the enthusiast stereo-type at the moment. I look forward to each endeavor I am tasked with. I encourage myself to give nothing but my best as much as I can, and I aspire for going beyond what's expected. The environment is peaceful yet challenging. I feel like I enjoy each moment.

But of course, I don't. There would be times when I would get discouraged. Times when I question whether I have what it takes. Those times I am afterwards surprisingly encouraged because I know that that is far from what God is telling me. In fact, I believe them to be lies from the enemy. I love (as much I would not want to write it-for lack of a better term) my job. Being in Corporate Planning is in itself a blessing and an opportunity. I thank God for this gift he has prepared in advance for me. He has worked out everything even before I knew it. Much too long a story to write. It wasn't exactly my dream but He knew better. He knows better. In fact, He knows best!

Immersion: Remembrance to Inspiration

Overwhelmed with the immersion experience, i was compelled to write in the midst of our processing session... I am grateful for every experience, every encounter which He prepared in advance for me. There are no accidents.

Its funny how young people like to remember things. Pictures, autographs, letters, remembrances (I was once a fan of such)...makes me think about how I myself would want to remember. I came to a few moments in my life when I thought that such which remind me of the past were but add-ons to my already crammed drawers. Although I do have those times when I am just happy remembering times from the past, I am not the type who would intentionally want to remember. Life goes on right? But it struck me that it is good to remember and be inspired, that it is good to not forget, and make every intention to do so. To what it is that I ought to remember, God's wisdom guides me. It is good to remember.

Let it be

So far, i have been successful in keeping the habit. Yey. Here's a short post from my journal. I wrote it early this morning :-) Here goes:

Let not my reason be anything other than God. Let it not be wealth, nor reputation, nor vindication, nor power, nor vengeance. Let it not be a product of my circumstances, but a product what I have experienced in God. Let it not be to impress anybody but God. Let it be God. If it is not, then I rebuke myself out of love. God is the only reason, and He is enough. He is worth living for. To honor Him in every way would be the best for my life. I will remember :)

Choice/Will/Right

I wasn't able to keep my promise to myself to update my blog at least once a month... Anyway, I am to start over and continue to blog as often as I could. A New Year's Post...I actually wrote this the past month I think...

Choice. Every person has some extent of freedom. While it can be very limited for others because of socio-economic, political and cultural factors, we are able acknowledge a huge part in which we are able to make our own choices and decisions.

For a person like me who claims to be a Christian (surrendered my life to Jesus, made Him Lord and Savior of my life), it ought to be limited to His will. That is, if I really did submit my life to Him, then it is no longer I who lives but Christ in me (Galatians 2:20). Is it like "I do not make my own decisions, Jesus does"?

Yes, in that what Jesus would do - what is according to the will of My Father -

IS my decision i.e. what I would do, exceedingly so that there is no other possible

outcome but to have done it.

No, in that I do have what is commonly referred to as human free will. I do have the

capability to make my own decisions.

It is just that ever since I submitted my life to Him, I no longer want to acknowledge my will, but always look to His will (which is not necessarily contrary to my will or passions). Insisting on my will simply gives more room, which is mistaken as freedom, for sin to enter in my life. I do have the capability to make my own decisions, but now my decisions are not my own because I have surrendered them when I gave my life to Him. Another way to put it: At Calvary, I lost my right to devise my own plans and pursue my own agendas.

Choose Christ

Sometimes, circumstances seem to get us, and we feel we have no control. During these times, it is easier to succumb to do what we feel rather than otherwise. It feels better to choose oneself over what ought to be, but that relief is temporary. Choosing the better good [His will] will always bring true peace. It is when we say, we would not have it any other way.

Everyday we are faced with decisions, and we [have been given the freedom] to choose, to decide, the direction of our lives. Circumstances and culture do affect us in a great way, but they do not have to be the sole influence of our lives. It is time to [allow Christ to be the sole driver and influence of our lives.]

not the practical but the supernatural

God didn't call us to do what is practical, but what is supernatural.

Each day is a challenge for us to live to the fullest. We try do our best in every area because we serve an Almighty God... and that includes making not only the right decisions but the best ones.

We strive to please Him... always seeking to do what He wants. But sometimes we are unsure. Unsure of which path to take, which career to pursue, what cause to give our lives to, and what not. What is the most important thing? What matters most? We ask but we do not really mind.

What we give ourselves into are the worries of today. We do what is PRACTICAL - that is, what perfectly fits our schedule, what fits our budget, what fits our intellect, our skills, what fits our age. We do what the world tells us is just right, what's FIT. But God didn't call us to do the practical. He called us to do the supernatural... to go beyond what fits our schedules, to give beyond what fits our budget, to do beyond what's fit for our talents, to grow beyond what fits our age. He called us to be in FAITH, to be so certain that He would be the one to move.

We do not live on our own. God has a plan for our lives and he had it even before we were conceived. Practicality and conformity to what is natural and fit is not the way to live out God's plan. The way to live it out is to seek Him and know him well to know what He wants for our lives, always believing and in faith. He reigns.

When you forgive...

(from Lewis Smedes)

When you forgive someone, you slice away the wrong from the person who did it. You disengage that person from his hurtful act. You recreate him. At one moment you identify him ineradicably as the person who did you wrong. The next moment you change that identity. He is remade in your memory.

You think of him now not as a person who hurt you, but a person who needs you. You feel him now not as the person who alienated you, but the person who belongs to you. Once you branded him as a person powerful in act, but now you see him as a person weak in his needs. You recreated your past by recreating the person whose wrong made your past painful.

Something I need to hear

For my mom…

This is about something I learned from the past. Well, maybe not necessarily, as it seems I am not easily taught. It’s like making the same mistakes, forgetting how foolish it is to go through situations simply the way I want to. It’s one of those times when it’s as if I’ve been programmed to do things as I always have and I deceive myself I actually have been. I can appear like I’m perfectly healthy but deep inside I rot away. My soul is slowly eaten up, and although I am acutely conscious, I choose to go on.. as if nothing is wrong. It’s definitely one of those times when not doing what is wrong is not enough, and doing what is right is the only cure.

Oh I would not want to say over and over what is told of me, but I would. Forgiveness. Love. Indeed I need to hear it, have it, and share it. These are vitamins recommended on a second per second basis.

Forgiveness. It is easy for us to remember the most shallow misdoings of a friend or loved one and even forget years worth of closeness, supposedly knowing each other better than other people do. If indeed we have come to know certain people well, we’d realize it’s no better for both to go on judging or accusing each other, and that the way to deal with it is to see the best in them. Suppose the other party has no capability (for the moment) to see all that the person is inside and forget all the misdoings, then maybe just maybe we can be their example.

Love. In general, it is accepting the totality of a person. It is looking beyond the actions and seeing the person that is in an individual. It is also seeking the good, growth and glow of the other. As such, it includes making smiles, spending quality time, even giving beyond what is rational, speaking words of encouragement and affirmation, listening, praying, serving, and even more. But of course, the most important ingredient of all is people to love. And the good news is we never run out of it! We have our parents, guardians, friends, relatives, classmates, officemates, orgmates, church, small group, leaders, and EVERYONE including strangers.

It’s always easy for me to see what ought to be and forget that it could be and would be. I can go on not really learning because I choose to go on with what has been programmed in me for so long, but then again, I can choose the opposite. Even now, I can decide and set my heart to do it…set it well that no other outcome is possible for me but to have done it, and done it quite well.

To keep a promise to myself: a list

To keep a promise to myself:

Some of the things I’ve been telling myself lately…so that I would be reminded to practice and heed. It's called w-i-s-d-o-m

• Think before you speak. Be very careful with the words you choose… something that I learned from my teacher and of course from the handbook of life: The tongue has the power of life and death.
• Listen…at all times. Listen and try to understand. Never assume (it makes an -a-s-s- out of -u- and -m-e) anything as obvious. Don’t walk out. Don’t stray…Better said – LISTEN.
• Act in love (not in-love). The world needs love. *how can you give what you do not have? Experience the love of God. Seek Him and be intimate with Him. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.
• Plan. Schedule your day. That way, you get the most out of it.
• Humble yourself. Listen to the advices of others. Be teachable. Consider others better than yourself. Obey. Swallow your pride.
• Tell your parents how much you appreciate them. TELL and not just “show". Oh, and telling only will not do...honor :)
• Get some sleep. You need at least 7 hours to function well.
• Stay happy and remember God in all your ways. To him be all the glory

Remember goodness

[The context, which you can skip] For the past few days, I have been grieving for what might seem to be petty things for many. No matter how I try to get myself busy with other concerns, the events that had happened continue to haunt me, as if it were terrible. I wallow in regret, blame and pity even if for every second I know there is no sense to it. I know that nothing is accomplished in thinking about it, but somehow I do not seem to believe enough. It seemed like I was going to be forever bewildered by what I had mentioned as petty...

...Now, what I do is sing songs, and remember goodness. It is not always the case for me to be swayed into the mood of my attempted adulation, and when I say this I mean it, but… it is not always a failure. And when one does see the victory there is to it, admiration and gratefulness is inevitable. One begins to understand why gratitude in prayer would suffice. One can only weep at grace and mercy encountered. Whereas one once grieved because of thought that she deserved better, she now weeps because she knows she does not deserve any. How magnificent is grace. How magnificent is the revelation that everything that God allows to happen, He does and wills because He loves (and he loves deeply).